Today, 25 years ago I married the love of my life. Some people wonder if it is possible to love more than one person in a lifetime. I think it is. However, I think you only have one true love in a lifetime.  We raised 4 wonderful children together. I just went on my daughters facebook pages and looked through their pictures in awe. These two beautiful girls that we raised have pictures that show how much they love their lives, God, friends and family members. They also show how much they are loved. I know this would not be possible without the love and guidance of their Mother and Father. It doesn’t stop there. We raised two incredible young men who have blessed our hearts beyond measure. One taught us the true meaning of life as we watched a young man struggle with a chronic illness. There was no obstacle he could not overcome in spite of the difficulties that it presented. The oldest has become a man so strong and so loving that I think he is the new Rock of Gibraltar. His strength and character has carried our family through many difficult days. I remember as he struggled with choosing a college. My husband took him to McDonalds one night and took a napkin and wrote the three colleges he was contemplating. Together they did the pros and cons of each school. I remember so well the look on their faces as they came back in from their “man to man” talk. Our son looked at me proudly and said, “We decided I am going to The Citadel”. Good choice, I thought. I sighed, thinking how thankful I was to the man, leading the man.

There are many other examples of how our lives were shaped by this marriage. All of our children and friends were a part of the Northwood Assembly Church family. We had it all. The all American dream.

Unfortunately like so many others our dream was short lived and our marriage ended in divorce. The reason or turn of events leading up to that is unimportant today. I experienced a death of a child and a divorce within 4 months of each other. I experienced in four months what no one should experience in a lifetime. I have realized after almost 5 years how similar the pain is. However, the reactions are so different. No one calls you on the anniversary of your marriage and tells you how sorry they are, and that they are thinking about you. I personally have found that talking about loss is helpful, as well as recalling the happy memories. It seems to be acceptable in death, but not in divorce. I felt closer to my son’s friends than ever before after his death. The friends of the departed marriage partners are strained at best.

Divorce is a slow agonizing disease that creeps into the bloodstream causing pain and anguish. There may be periods of remission. Sometimes the remission is permanent and other times it is fatal. It leaves a trail of destruction as wide as a deadly tornado. The everlasting effects are permanent and horrific.

On this day, what would have been our Silver Wedding Anniversary, I say “Happy Anniversary” to the love of my life.  Thank you for the memories and thank you for our four wonderful children! We are blessed.