Carolina One Real Estate hosted a Trunk or Treat on Thursday, October 29th.  We parked our cars around the parking lot and some wore costumes and had elaborate decorations. Children went from car to car trick or treating! It was great fun and the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves. I loved the feel of our office coming together, and the community coming out to support our children.

I have attached a picture of my granddaughter, Caroline and her new friend, Emma. Emma is the daughter of Nathan and Sarah Henderson.

Watch for next years Carolina One Real Estate Trunk or Treat!

MUSC and the trip to the Drugstore

My Mom has been experiencing bladder problems for the last six or seven years. Five years ago she had a device implanted in her hip called an Interstem. This is a device that sends electrical impulses to the nerve that activates the bladder to tell it when it is full. If you are following my blog you will remember that I am now in the stage of life known as “Parenting the Parent”.

We went to MUSC where the only doctor in town is familiar with this and had a checkup. All went well and he tweaked the device after hooking it up to his laptop. We laughed as he asked her to tell him when she could feel the impulse’s “down there” as he ramped it up.

She has a remote control that she can use to turn up the impulses or turn them down as needed. He told me when we left that would need a new 9 volt battery.

After further testing he decided that he wanted her to “catheterize” herself a few times a day to be sure that she was emptying her bladder well. A nurse came in and gave my Mom instructions on exactly how this was done. I tried not to pay too much attention until I was told if she needed any help that I may want to know what to do! I don’t do medical stuff. God made me with the gift of talking and that is how I make my living. I never felt inclined to go into the medical field other than when I found out how much they made! $$$

As the nurse was finishing up with our lesson she turned to me and said, “Now you are going to need to pick her up some K-Y Jelly, unless you have some.”

Well I thought if I did I certainly was not going to share it with my Mother!

After I got my Mom back to the assisted living and all settled I ran up to the local pharmacy right around the corner. I walked in and the manager asked me if he could help me. I told him I needed a battery and snickered to myself, and some K-Y Jelly!!

As I stood looking at the lubricant section I realized how funny this was going to look. Walking up to the register with a battery and a tube of K-Y Jelly!

It was kind of like when I was young and first had to buy feminine products. You always walked up to the register praying it would be a woman.  Yes, as I made my way there I saw a sweet little grey haired lady at the cash register. Maybe I should explain to her about my Mom?

I laid the items on the counter and smiled.  As I walked out the store, I thought to myself, who would have ever believed this? Batteries and K-Y Jelly, for my Mom of course!!

It seems as if life has come full circle for me these days. My Mom moved to Charleston from Alabama and is living in an assisted facility in Summerville. Our time together is filled with talk of what she ate or how much she ate. Her bowel movement habits or lack of, and who she has talked to on the phone!

I am constantly reminded of when my kids were babies and it seemed that life revolved around the very same thing…except who they were talking to on the phone…that came about 12 years later!

Today our adventure included a trip to MUSC. I thought since Mom rarely gets out and never goes downtown that I would treat her to lunch in one our fabulous Charleston restaurants. I chose Hominy Grill due to the location and I knew it would have great choices that would suit her somewhat picky palate!

After a little coaxing we sat outside in the courtyard. Mom was worried it would be too cold. It was 68 degrees and she had three layers of clothing on. After ordering our drinks I read her the menu that was on the chalkboard. These are the specials of the day and they also have a great menu. I asked her if she wanted vegetables since they are known for their good ole southern style vegetables and she said, “No I don’t like vegetables”.  Ok, I thought no vegetables, “How about pinto bean soup”? This was an attempt to keep her warm! No go, she doesn’t like pinto beans either. At this moment I remembered bringing two little toddlers to a cute little restaurant downtown for lunch, 82 Queen, and one of them cried because their salad had “yucky” cheese on it! That yucky cheese was goat’s cheese and I think she is a huge fan 20 years later!

My problem was I could not decide what tochoose, everything sounded delicious! I thought about forgetting lunch and go directly to the chocolate!  

After the waitress came back by a second time I could see the frustration growing in her face. The place was filling up and she still did not have our order. Finally, Mom looked up at me and said “can I just have a grill cheese sandwich”?

I looked at the waitress with pleading eyes I am sure, and she said yes, we can do that for you and how about some fries too? Perfect!

Eating with my Mom is interesting. She doesn’t talk much these days. I feel compelled to make conversation because that is what I do when I am out to eat. In fact I have been known to talk more and eat less. I can take it home and eat it later when there is no one to talk to!

There were two ladies sitting next to us who were looking over a map of the city.  I laughed to myself when I heard them say they were going to head down to the waterfront and walk off their lunch. We all know it is not the waterfront, it is The Battery!

My Mom got up and went to the bathroom and one of them looked at me and said, “You lunch partner is awfully quiet”.  I told her she was my Mom and she was not always quiet. Just in her later years conversation seems to be more difficult for her. In fact, I remember her being just like me. Always talking and enjoyed being around lots of people.

About that time my Mom came back and I paid the bill and wished our visitors a good day. I walked out smiling as I slipped the receipt in my purse. I’ve ordered lots of grilled cheese in my life. But don’t think I have ever paid $10.00 for one! Oh well I thought, at least it wasn’t “yucky cheese”!

Today was one of those days. Not “one of those days” as in a bad day. It all started out pretty normal. Phone calls, emails. Had an offer on one of my listings that I was negotiating and finally got it ratified by noon. That is always a great way to start a day.  I had to go to our corporate office to get my new Iphone connected to our server. Since it is pretty close to the mall I decided to run by and return a dress I had bought. I always enjoy going to Citadel mall. The stores are bigger and their seems to be more choices than the Northwoods mall near my house. I tried on clothes and enjoyed having some free time for myself. Between helping my friend with her wedding and taking care of my Mom, me-time has been few and far between.

After purchasing a new jade colored shirt and a pair of skinny pants! LOL, the name makes me laugh! I realized that I had a couple of hours before going to my son’s house for dinner. I looked around the parking lot wondering if I should put my bags in the car and go back in and shop a while longer when I realized the new 16 screen movie theatre was right across the street. I love movies and can not even tell you when I had gone last. I walked up to the ticket booth and asked the lady what were my choices. She laughed and said, “Julie and Julia”. Perfect!

I got a ticket, popcorn, diet coke and reese cups. Walked in the theatre just as it was starting. I laughed because there was no one else in there!! I walked about a 1/3 of the way up the aisle and into the very center of the row. Just where I love to sit. I sat my purse in one chair, my drink in the holder and propped my feet up on the seat in front of me. I couldn’t help but giggle thinking they had this showing just for me!

I asked the ticket lady if the movie was any good. She told me if you like the food channel you would probably like it. As I walked away I thought, hmmm I like it ok. Not something I rush home to catch. As the movie started I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was actually about a girl who was trying to find herself. To find her purpose in life. She dreamed of being a writer. She had started a novel and was not able to get it published and gave up on it. She worked a dayjob in a cubicle for the government. She was turning 30 and wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

I loved, loved, loved this movie! I don’t want to tell too much about it for those of you who have not seen it. But it is a great story of empowerment and determination. The coolest part is that it is true! I shared with my Broker last year when we were setting goals that I had a desire to be a writer. He laughed and said, “then write a blog”.

I couldn’t help but think about him and his advice during this movie. Writing a blog is writing! Of course writing and having people read it and enjoy it is something else. This girl Julia found her niche and made it happen! I was very inspired. Should be coming out on DVD soon…maybe Santa will bring it to me for Christmas!!!

September 11, 2001 is significant.  That day is etched in our hearts, and for some, their soul.  Missing planes, damaged buildings, confusion, unimaginable reports and FEAR!  What followed in the days ahead became even more horrific, as the reality unfolded.  Our lives as we knew it prior to 9-11 would forever be changed. 

  September 11,2005 – 3:30 pm eastern standard time is significant. That day is forever etched in our hearts and soul.  Missing surfer, confusion, unimaginable reports and FEAR!  What followed in the days ahead became even more horrific, as the reality unfolded.  Our lives as we knew it prior to 9-11 would forever be changed.

On this day, I allow myself time to grieve and ask all of the questions that you know there are no real answers. The first year was an end to all of “the firsts”.  The thought that I had made it through the first year was somewhat comforting and even encouraging. The second anniversary seemed a bit more painful.  The realization that each and every year this day would come, and there was no way to change it.  It seemed as if the numbness wore off and the pain seemed much worse that year.  

This September 11th is the 4th anniversary and once again I reflect on the difference from the previous year.  I enjoyed relishing in the memories, and even though the pain was still there, it was different. It was almost a nostalgic feeling.  I found myself thinking of all of the wonderful people in our lives that loved and cherished those memories too.  

This year I realize that I have allowed myself to love again. I am enjoying my grown children and we had an addition to our family. Our sweet Caroline Isabella was born. Her birth brought much of the joy back into my life. Watching each one of my children grow and become mature adults has once again blessed my heart and allowed me to focus on the here and now, and not on what is missing.

To all of you who mourn today, I mourn with you.God bless you. My heart aches for you. I know that only the love of our heavenly Father can bring comfort and peace.  So much can change in a matter of seconds.

Today is 09/09/09 and a little baby girl was born to Dawn Rienzo Haas. She named her Jolene Brittany. Brittany is after a very good friend of mines 20 year-old daughter who went to heaven 1 year after Gregory. What a wonderful tribute to Brittany’s memory!  Dawn’s Facebook post said she was so happy to have a part of Brittany as a part of her family now. Unbelievable! How much joy this must have brought to my friend.

My Mother has been ill for quite a few years. She was not well the week Gregory was missing. The long trip from Alabama was difficult for her.  I barely remember her being here for those few days for the Memorial Service. It seemed as if she were gone as quickly as she had arrived.

Today I visited her in the hospital. As time passes these short stays in the hospital have become much more frequent. As I walked in to her room, she seemed much more frail than I remembered. I quietly walked in and sat down on the side of her bed. As usual, I asked her how she was feeling. To my surprise, she reached out and took my hand in to hers.  She told me she was sorry for  causing me so much trouble  during this week. Friday, September 11th will be 4 years since that horrendous day, when Gregory was discovered missing during a surfing outing with friends. For the first time that I can remember, I hugged my Mother and cried. I layed my head on her chest as she held me and felt safe to cry and release all of the pain.  For those few moments I was a child again. Being comforted with the love that only a  Mother can give. 

My friend calls moments like these “God stops”. Where out of nowhere, when we least expect it, God stops us in our tracks, and gives us a HUGE  blessing.  Today, I was blessed with two. One by a new Mother and her baby, and one by my Mother…and her baby.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

Turn left at the old hotel
I know this boulevard much too well it hasn’t changed since I been gone
Oh this used to be my way home

They paved the road thru the neighborhood
I guess the county finally fixed good it was gettin’ rough
Someone finally complained enough

Fight the tears back with a smile
Stop and look for a little while oh it’s plain to see
The only thing missing is me

That’s my house and that’s my car
That’s my dog in my back yard
There’s the window to the room
Where she lays her pretty head
I planted that tree out by the fence
Not long after we moved in
That’s my kids and that’s my wife
Who’s that man, runnin’ my life

If I pulled in would it cause a scene
There not really expectin me those kid’s have been thru hell
I hear they’ve adjusted well

Turn around in the neigbors drive
I’d be hard to recognise in this pick-up truck
It’s just an old fixer up

Drive away one more time
Lot of things runnin’ thru my mind I guess the less things change
The more they never seem the same

That’s my house and that’s my car
That’s my dog in my back yard
There’s the window to the room
Where she lays her pretty head
I planted that tree out by the fence
Not long after we moved in
That’s my kids and that’s my wife
Who’s that man, runnin’ my life

That’s my house and that’s my car
That’s my dog in my back yard
There’s the window to the room
Where she lays her pretty head
I planted that tree out by the fence
Not long after we moved in
That’s my kids and that’s my wife
Who’s that man, runnin’ my life

There are some moments in life that stand out, as if time stood still.  The birth of my 4 children is one of those times. I can remember each and every detail, and enjoy telling the story to them on each of their birthdays.  The other is the day my sweet baby boy paddled out into the waves at Folly Beach, and surfed into the presence of God.

This past week I watched as a dear friend and co-worker experienced the tragic loss of a child. Her sweet daughter went out for a swim into the ocean and never made it back. Sullivans Island has not been kind this year. As we have listened to the news of multiple missing swimmers and rescues of just as many.

I know all to well what my friend has gone through this past week. Standing on the beach in horror. Hoping and praying that this precious child will be found. Wondering what happened? Feeling helpless and watching and listening, while constantly thinking in the back of your mind…how can this be happening?  After a long, grueling night and day, thankfully my friends daughter was found. Her body washed up on the Morris Island side of the Wash Out.  Near where my son would meet with all of his friends to surf. My heart ached for her.

I did not make it to the viewing. Knowing there would be a huge crowd to give their respects, I chose not to go. I was sure I would not be missed, and knew my time would come later. I heard that people actually stood in line for 2 hours. What a wonderful outpouring of love to my dear friend. I did attend the funeral on Monday morning.

As I came out of a restless night of sleep, I opened my eyes and remembered the day of my own personal experience with the tragic loss of a child. I remembered waking up and lying in the bed thinking that it was all a very bad dream. I even thought if I did not get up it would not be real. My body felt heavy and lifeless. I wept that morning knowing all too well what my friend was feeling. When I got into the shower the tears came. I remembered how I thought it seemed so trivial to be washing my hair. The shampoo bottle felt heavy. The water felt soothing to my heart and soul. Drying off I put the towel to my face and wept. I prayed for my friends breaking heart. No need for make-up today. Nothing could hide the agony and sorrow. It is a day that we are all without masks.

Before I left I went into my top drawer and found two handkerchiefs. One was given to me by my pastor that I used during my sons funeral. The other was a gift from a friend. It has “Friend” embroidered on it in pastel colors. I remembered how good the soft cotton fabric felt against my nose and eyes. The tissues were rough and at times would leave pieces of white tissue on my eyes. I decided my friend might need this today. I tucked it in my purse and hoped that I would have the opportunity to give it to her.

The funeral was held at a large church just like my sons service. The ride there seem to take a very long time, almost as if we were in slow motion. My tears continued and I was trying to muffle the sobs. As we entered the church I saw my Boss and another coworker and headed to the comfort of familiarity. As I made my way down the pew the realization hit me. Here we are again. A tragedy of monumental proportion.  I sat down and once again sobbed into the soft fabric of my handkerchief.

The service started and the Pastor talked for a while about if one sheep was missing that the shepard would go find them. It was comforting words to hear. There was a time of testimonials from friends and family. I enjoyed hearing from the men who lead our great company. They are strong, smart and caring. All of these men where at the beach with me. Most of them where out on boats during the 4 day search. I knew how much they cared and it made the tears flow. Our Chairman of the Board talked about how my friend will get through this. He had talked to others who had lost children at the viewing, and shared some good insight from them.

One of my favorite parts of the testimonials was two young girls who got up and shared fun stories about growing up with the one we had lost. They told sweet loving stories that I know brought joy to my friends aching heart.

I thought about going up and sharing. I glanced at both sides of the pew and tried to decide which side had the least amount of people to crawl over. But something in side me said  “Be Still, you will be able to tell her one on one”.  I am a chosen one. Someone who knows, who cares and who will be there along with many others.

If I had gone up to give a testimony it would have been to tell my friend that the horror you have felt these last few days will ease soon, and will be replaced with a numb feeling. It will be there for quite a while. Time is the medicine for grief. Each person’s dose is different.  I believe the first year is hard because of all of the” firsts”. However, the second year the Novocain seems to wear off and the pain is more severe, but your life is finally beginning to have some sense of normalcy. It is a trade off.

I wish I could have told the two girls who spoke to tell their stories often. This is a mega dose of grieving medication. I loved hearing stories about my sweet boy and I loved being with his friends. The first Christmas they came over and brought me a christmas tree and hung lights on the house. We ate pizza and ended up in my sons room laughing and talking about old times. Some of them left that night with a few of  my son’s treasures. It was the first time I had even thought about what to do with his belongings. It was a joyous occasion and I prayed for these moments to come often for my friend.

The last thing I would have said is to be good to yourself. To allow yourself time to grieve. Don’t put any time restraints on healing. The prescription for healing is different for each one of us. The good news is that it does come. Healing. But it is like a wound that can break open at any time. Some days you will experience more pain, some days hardly any at all. I remember after a while I would realize that I had not been sad at all for most of the day. Sometimes I would feel guilty. But then I would realize that I was experiencing healing. The strangest thing of all is that some times when you least expect it, and for no reason at all, the grief will return and flood your soul with all of the raw emotions that you had thought were healed!

You will  change over the coming years. Grace and mercy became my friend. I have more compassion now than ever before. I am a better person because of what happened to me that day at the beach. I heard a very good teaching once that stuck with me. You can get bitter or better. I chose to get better and I know you will too.

Good luck my friend and God bless. You will be blessed by the memories as time goes by.

On Saturday, April 18^th, Carolina One Real Estate’s Goose Creek office, located at 567 Crowfield Blvd. will be holding “Crowfield Appreciation Day”.  Vendors participating will be, food, moon bounce, local radio station,  face painting and the Shred-It company will be doing “FREE” Shredding (with donation of non-perishable food item) for the community.  Mini-seminars (15 Minutes) on Short Sales, Foreclosures and the Stimulus Plan for First Time Buyers will also be presented.  Any proceeds will be donated to God’s Ladle (local soup kitchen) and Helping Hands (local food bank).

Approximately 20 vendor booths, which will be renting for $100 each, will be available to community businesses.  If you know of a local business, that would like to have great community exposure on this day please let us know.  All vendors must sign up no later than March 23rd.  Please contact Gene Coon with any questions at gcoon@carolinaone.com.

Mark your calendars for April 18^th for a fun filled day at Carolina One Real Estate!